3.19.2016

"Pick your risk and take it"


I am working in a contract project that is really my dream come true. It's not even real yet. I am not even really talking about it yet. I am making nearly 100 really beautiful, large, geometric carved bowls for a  huge designer's project in L.A. (I will reveal at a later date) I am so full of fear, it's a ridiculous. Fear of failure. Worry. So much negative talk in my head. I am honored. Thrilled. Terrified. ANXIOUS. (I live with anxiety issues so this is normal. But not good) In fact, I haven't wanted to share that I am working on this project because I am so scared that I will fail. (My three test pieces blew up in the kiln. That hardly ever happens and of course it happened in this instance. I feel like they weren't quite dry enough. But, it adds significantly to my anxiety.) I am letting go of the fear. I want to feel good! My mom is so good at reminding me to enjoy the work, the process, the adventure of the experience. She sent me a text message that said, "Hope you had a relaxed perspective today." I love her. My husband is so helpful in diffusing my weary and wayward thoughts. I also love him. I am only able to do this project because of their support.

You might not be able to tell from the interior of my home, but I love interior design. I love the backgrounds. The POTTERY in the backgrounds. I always hope that my pottery finds a "good home". A special spot on the shelf, wall, mantle, or table, etc. I want it to be loved and used. More on the details of the project later, but I am so pleased and proud that my work has been chosen to be a piece of something so amazing. P.S. If you have purchased my pottery, you have really good taste.

When I am making these bowls I am in a different mind set than I ever have been before in the studio. I don't like the weight of the mindset. I am going to change it. It's production work. Repetitive. I stress about this deadline coming up. Will more blow? Will they crack? Is there really any way that these will dry in time to be fired, glazed and fired again? So much heavy worry. I am going to detach from that. NOW. When I am carving these pieces, I find so much peace in the individuality in each piece. They are beautiful. Someone will love them. I made them. I appreciate this gift and I intend to honor it more than I do. I am going to take the fear out of the equation....starting NOW. Inhale, Exhale. Whew.

"Just keep working" my husband says. Here I go!

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